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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

And so it begins!

Before getting to what is beginning.   Have to mention what a wonderful Thanksgiving vacation we had in Madeira Beach, FL.  We stayed at a great condo on the beach, walked more than 30 miles during the week, kayaked, swam with the Manatees in Crystal River, went to the Clearwater aquarium, home of Winter the dolphin and most importantly got to see Joe's dad and Aunts.  Those Johnson girls are hysterical.  I can only hope to be as fabulous at 60+.

One of the reasons I no longer have a real job is the need and desire to be there for my family.  It is beginning... My mom called a lunch yesterday to talk to Johnny (my brother) and me privately.  Her best friend (college roommate) and roommate now is in the throws of dementia it has been very sad to see her decline.  Shirley has always been in our lives, I was 16 before I realized she isn't actually my Aunt.  Anyway, my mom still works full-time (at 73). Will do a post on living within your means at another time.  Shirley doesn't need to be alone 10-12 hours a day, as she gets confused easily.  She has also started becoming delusional at times.  Once insisting to my mom that her brother had passed away.  Even with my mom's insistence, she couldn't be convinced until her brother called and spoke with her.  Mom is physically disabled (bad knee, leading to crooked kidney with poor functioning) and feels she just can't provide her the attention she needs.  Shirley is going to have to go live with her sister at the beginning of the year.   We all have a lot of guilt over this as Shirley took care of  my grandmother for 18 months before she died, helped take care of my dad when he was ill and passed, and has taken care of my mom through multiple surgeries.  Because of Shirley, my brother and I have been relatively unaffected by aging parents...certainly less than other children who have put their lives on hold, or moved parents in etc.  This portion only really affects me because of sadness for Shirley and my mom. Due to my imediate family situation I am not able to take her care on.

On a positive note, my mother, a recovering hoarder, is finally ready to get rid of it all, sell the house and move into an apartment closer to me or my brother.  Currently, she is 40 minutes away.  This is where I come in.   Her house needs lots of work, my brother can do a lot. Then we will have to get rid of trash, run Craig's Listings non-stop, garage sales and get the charity trucks etc.  I am pretty sure the cleaning, purging and selling of items will take at least 2-3 months. Hopefully, the house will sell
quickly and we can get her settled before the summer heat.   I know to most this just seems like part of life, and it it, but it is the first time Mom has said "I need y'all to do this for me".

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